I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
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Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
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This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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