We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I want her autograph on my taint
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Randomize
