Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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