Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
