dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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