Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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