is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
