i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
well you can't waste a boner
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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