Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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