Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
