You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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