I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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