i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
How external is "for external use only"?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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