Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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