Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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