you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
