Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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