Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
