No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
