No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
