He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize