Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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