im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
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you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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