im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Randomize