DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
