i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize