how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
