he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
