Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
