I want to walk on stilts...naked
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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