I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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