Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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