Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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