i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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