What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
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He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n