I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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