Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.