you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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