yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
