can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
