She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
