how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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