I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
