i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
