i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize