i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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