His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
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Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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