Already got asked if we're dating
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Randomize
