She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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