she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
