i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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