SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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