ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Dignity is for republicans.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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