i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
