it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
