My hand turned me down
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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