Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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