just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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