I hate your face
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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