He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I party with great urgency now.
Panties = found
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
